Love – drenched with tears – like a rose devoid of color – Such are the days in abusive relationships

Every day is the same. He loves me. I know this because he reminds me constantly. He even tells me why he loves me: because of the many ways I love him. He has never known love. Now his life is very different because I love him unconditionally. I have enriched him. He has new meaning in his life. Then I realize his words are vacuous. “Love” is not something he can know or feel. He knows only what he projects on others. He feels only loathing for all of humanity, including himself. He is an extreme narcissist, incapable of feeling anything other than admiration of self – not self-love, only admiration.

My Story

A very few of my closest friends and family know my story, but I have never published it because I have never quite recovered from the trauma. I know a lot of people don’t/can’t understand the lingering, haunting symptoms of trauma that drag on for years. I can’t say that I understand it myself. What I do know is that…

Rising Above

I Am Not a VICTIM! Semantics matter. Not everyone will agree with what I am about to say, and I respect that. I’d like to be patently clear about some things: Rapists are predators. Sexual abusers are predators. Domestic abusers and domestic violence offenders are predators, as are child pornographers and child abusers. I have been prey in my past.…

Awareness

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month: a time when advocates, survivors, friends and family of domestic violence speak out and speak up in an effort to help alleviate one of the most prevalent and most dangerous crimes in the United States today. In order to understand why DV is such a scourge on our society, it’s important to understand how…

The Meld

Why doesn’t she just leave him? If he’s abusing her, truly abusing her, she should just leave him. If only it were that simple! In order to understand why leaving isn’t as simple as just walking out the door and never looking back, one first has to understand the dynamics of abuse: how it starts, how a person becomes entangled…

By the Numbers

The latest comprehensive statistics the Department of Justice has published on family violence (see note) was in 2005. As of this publication: There were nearly 500,000 men and women in state prisons for domestic violence Approximately half of those were convicted of a sex offense against a family member Most (78%) were against a female More than half were against…